When I wake to see the sunshine through the curtains, I wish my eyes would close tightly shut to bring the darkness back again. Because without the rain and just the clear blue sky's I feel worse there goes another beautiful day to pass me by. I now all I can do is try to sleep it away and hope for darkness later in the day. When the sun is there shining bright in the sky its just a reminder that right now life is just passing me by. Through know fault of my own see depression just phoned and it's taking a bigger hold. I want the rain and dark clouds to reappear that way I know I'm not missing much just out of anxiety and fear mostly out of despair because most of the time I know longer want to be here. See the summer is normally my favourite time of year, filled with love, happiness an so much cheer but right now I just want to fast forward to next year, hopefully then the depression cloud would of cleared, Then I can smile rather than cry because the sunlight Is hurting my eyes. I just want to disappear till the pain and sadness has been replaced again with that sunshine cheer.
The Girl With BPD
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