I had know clue at the time that they had anything to do with my anxiety I thought I had diabetes or it was my iron levels, it was only when a friend had an anxiety attack I googled their symptoms and realised that I have been having serious anxiety attacks for months and not noticed.
I have been struggling with my anxiety all year, I stopped taking my meds because I thought I was ok and I hate taking medication, I then started to self medicate with weed to stop my anxiety but after a while it stopped working and mad my anxiety worse.
Iv not felt like myself for ages, i hate going out, hate seeing people, hate talking to people. I thought it was because of my BPD recovery and I was finding myself I see now it was all my anxiety.
Sometimes someone comes along a and inspires you to be an even better person, they just manage to have a soothing positive effect on you. I see a lot of my issues have been because I stopped taking my meds, it's made me into a person I'm not and I know I'm not depressed I know that much. However my anxiety has literally crippled me from life.
But if one person can inspire you to look at yourself a little deeper and make you see, It's better to shine in darkness than to disappear into it.
Iv been so scared and terrified about my health when all it was, was my anxiety. I hope now I start to feel like me again but in the meantime it's back to therapy to deal with what's causing this awful anxiety.
Going to the doctors is the hardest step every single time, however as terrible as it may be it's also the most rewarding thing because you know it can know get better.
Love always
Me x
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